ALAN HAEHNEL   


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   Nationality:
American
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Plays by Alan Haehnel

ALAN HAEHNEL
(Dis)Concert(ed) Choir, The
1st Produced:
Hartford High School (White River Junction, VT, United States)
2004
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2005
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Genre:
-
Comedy
Parts:
Male
17
Female
31
Parts Other:
31 females, 17 males; Running time: 40-50 mins
Notes: -
Synopsis: Alternating between music, monologues, and pure fantasy, The (Dis)Concert(ed) Choir journeys behind the angelic facade of a high school choir concert, with everyone's inner thoughts on display: the conductor can't wait to retire; the accompanist can't seem to hit the right notes; Jason is desperately in love with Marsha; the gaseous output of Josh's big pizza dinner it starting to make itself known; and Dad, being a dad, feels utterly trapped. . .
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ALAN HAEHNEL
15 Reasons Not To Be in a Play
1st Produced:
Long Trail High School (Dorset, VT, United States)
2005
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2005
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Genre:
-
Comedy
Parts:
Male
14
Female
14
Parts Other:
14 females, 14 males, 12 either; Running time: 30-60 mins
Notes: -
Synopsis: This is a play about not being in a play, ironically expressed through a hilarious series of monologues, duets, and ensemble scenes. From early traumas involving a glory-seeking elementary school teacher to possible disturbances in the global climate, 15 Reasons Not To Be in a Play keeps the audience guessing just what scenario will be next.
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ALAN HAEHNEL
18 More Reasons Not To Be in a Play
1st Produced:
The A.C.T. @ Ardmore High School
2007
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts Inc, NY
2007
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Genre:
short play
One Act
Parts:
Male
27
Female
25
Parts Other:
30 either
Notes: -
Synopsis: Our children are under the threat of a horrible plague today -- commonly known as Drama. This sequel to 15 Reasons Not To Be in a Play provides another 18 incentives to make one think twice about auditioning for anything. From Abraham Lincoln and overripe zucchini to fire-obsessed techies and Great Aunts obsessed with posture, get ready for more hilarious examples of how in theater, anything and everything can go wrong.
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ALAN HAEHNEL
1st Annual Achadamee Awards, The
1st Produced:
-
-
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2006
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Genre:
full legth
Comedy
Parts:
Male
20
Female
21
Parts Other:
21 females, 20 males, 4 either; Running time: 80-100 mins
Notes: -
Synopsis: Welcome to the first annual Achadamee High awards show recognizing the "finest" moments of the past year -- from best will-you-be-mine moment to best proposal for a new mascot. Join this year's crowd-shy host as she gets a little (unwanted) help from offs
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ALAN HAEHNEL
1st Annual Achadamee Awards, The
1st Produced:
-
-
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2006
To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click, otherwise
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Genre:
Comedy
One Act
Parts:
Male
10
Female
20
Parts Other:
20 females, 10 males, 3 either; Running time: 35-45 mins
Notes: -
Synopsis: Welcome to the first annual Achadamee High awards show recognizing the "finest" moments of the past year -- from best will-you-be-mine moment to best proposal for a new mascot. Join this year's crowd-shy host as she gets a little (unwanted) help from offs
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ALAN HAEHNEL
30 Reasons Not To Be in a Play
1st Produced:
Saint Paul, MN
2007
Company:
Como Park High School
1st Published:
Playscripts Inc, NY
2007
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Genre:
full length
Comedy
Parts:
Male
39
Female
33
Parts Other:
-
Notes: -
Synopsis: Stage kisses, pinkeye, inciting World War III -- these are only a few of the many things that can go wrong during the production of a play. From the author of 15 Reasons Not To Be in a Play comes a full evening of the horrors and hardships that befall those who feel the call of the stage. In a series of hilarious examples, this play proves that drama can be a very dangerous thing and it must be avoided at all costs.
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Andromeda's Galaxy
1st Produced:
-
-
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2006
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Genre:
Science fiction comedy
-
Parts:
Male
6
Female
9
Parts Other:
9 females, 6 males, 13 either; Running time: 40-50 mins
Notes: -
Synopsis: On the surface, Andromeda is an average teenager. Few realize that, influenced by her name and watching too many Star Trek episodes as a child, she filters all the events of her life through hilarious sci-fi scenarios. When her cheating boyfriend returns,
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Brook Across the Sea
1st Produced:
Hartford High School (Hartford, VT, United States)
2004
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2005
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Genre:
-
Comedy
Parts:
Male
10
Female
10
Parts Other:
10 females, 10 males; Running time: 25-35 mins
Notes: -
Synopsis: When Brook's vacation cruise ship goes down in high seas, she awakens in a strange land inhabited by people so obsessed with rushing and working and earning that they've forgotten the reason for their frantic pace. Under the tutelage of the Stranger, the one person who refuses to join the race, Brook finally escapes. This Seuss-esque, rhyming large-cast one-act satirizes the American drive for the almighty More -- more speed, more money, more possessions, more prestige -- and challenges us to examine how we live our lives.
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Case of Alex Hansen, The
1st Produced:
Long Trail High School (Dorset, VT, United States)
2003
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2003
To Buy This Play:
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Genre:
-
Play/Drama
Parts:
Male
6
Female
4
Parts Other:
8 either
Notes: Running time: 35-55
Synopsis: Alex Hansen awakes to find himself on trial for his life. His legal representation is terrible; he's already been deemed guilty; the courtroom proceedings are chaotic to the point of dark comedy. All seems lost, except when Alex gets the momentary sense that someone, somewhere, is advocating for him. In the play's surprising climax, Alex experiences a profound and moving redemption.
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Chasm, The
1st Produced:
Hartford, VT
2007
Company:
Hartford High School
1st Published:
Playscripts Inc, NY
2007
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Genre:
short play
One Act
Parts:
Male
13
Female
6
Parts Other:
11 either
Notes: -
Synopsis: Set in the harsh era of Beowulf, the decimated tribe of Albin flees for its life from Hrothgar's ruthless army. When they reach a seemingly impassable chasm, the tribe members are faced with an awful choice. Do the stronger members scale the chasm, leaving the weak behind, or do they all sacrifice themselves to die together with honor? An engrossing tale of loyalty, faith, and perseverance.
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Chicken Bones for the Teenage Soup
1st Produced:
Franklin Middle School (Cedar Rapids, IA, United States)
2004
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2004
To Buy This Play:
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Genre:
-
Comedy
Parts:
Male
24
Female
29
Parts Other:
29 females, 24 males, 5 either; Running time: 40-60
Notes: -
Synopsis: Unlike the megapopular book series it parodies, Chicken Bones for the Teenage Soup is a comic ode to pessimism. In a series of short scenes, diverse characters illustrate various sentimental moments from everyday life, only to be repeatedly crushed by sardonic twists of cruel fate.
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Choosers in Platterville, The
1st Produced:
Floyd Middle Magnet School (Montgomery, AL, United States)
2003
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2003
To Buy This Play:
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Genre:
-
Comedy
Parts:
Male
8
Female
6
Parts Other:
20 either
Notes: Running time: 40-55
Synopsis: In this Seuss-esque send-up of the college application process, written entirely in verse, young Greenies from the town of Platterville must vie for the privilege of attending one of the four most prestigious planets. When the pompous Choosers descend on their town, demanding endless tests and qualifications, the Greenies and their parents will stop at nothing to get an acceptance. . .
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Deus Ex
1st Produced:
Cedar Falls Schools (Cedar Falls, IA, United States)
2004
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2002
To Buy This Play:
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Genre:
-
Play/Drama
Parts:
Male
2
Female
-
Parts Other:
5 either
Notes: Running time: 30-45
Synopsis: Rick has been manipulating his teachers and classmates using a top-secret machine called Compumind, which lets him forecast their future behavior. Rick's best friend Dan accompanies him to see the Compumind late one night, only to discover that Rick has a terrifying plan in store. . .
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Echo Before, The
1st Produced:
Parish Players (Thetford, VT, United States)
2004
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2006
To Buy This Play:
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Genre:
-
Play/Drama
Parts:
Male
3
Female
4
Parts Other:
4 females, 3 males, 2 either; Running time: 100-120 mins
Notes: -
Synopsis: Two readers tell us the story of a play, its actors, and its audience as they move through the everyday moments that have life-and-death consequences for their participants. Gwen, a young actress, finds herself manipulated by her former high school drama
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Fearful Symmetry
1st Produced:
-
-
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2005
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Genre:
Short Drama
One Act
Parts:
Male
4
Female
12
Parts Other:
gender flexible
Notes: -
Synopsis: Mary is anxiously attempting to finish her chores when a mysterious stranger enters the room, with an enticing but frightening proposition: Push the button on this box I have. If you do so, I will give you a large sum of money. The catch? Someone -- you will not know who, and the action will never be traced to you -- will die. Four different Marys, arrayed in four different countries, deliberate over this choice with highly theatrical, simultaneous action.
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Greek(ish) Myth of Marcyonome, The
1st Produced:
-
-
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2006
To Buy This Play:
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Genre:
-
Comedy
Parts:
Male
6
Female
18
Parts Other:
18 females, 6 males, 33 either; Running time: 40-50 mins
Notes: -
Synopsis: Norm has seen one too many Greek plays. So when he finds himself watching an intoning chorus and typical Greek characters once again take the stage, he takes a stand! His complaint triggers a surprising turn of events as the chorus strives to entertain us
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ALAN HAEHNEL
H.S.T.V.
1st Produced:
-
-
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2005
To Buy This Play:
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Genre:
-
Comedy
Parts:
Male
12
Female
22
Parts Other:
22 females, 12 males, 6 either; Running time: 35-45 mins
Notes: -
Synopsis: While waiting for a ride home from school one evening, Mallory and Cindy discover a mysterious new television network with channels reminiscent of regular crime dramas, cooking competitions, soap operas, and game shows -- but featuring their fellow students and teachers in outlandish situations. Before long, Mallory and Cindy find themselves sucked into the network as well, where their strained relationship is put to the test, Jerry Springer-style.
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ALAN HAEHNEL
High Stakes
1st Produced:
Lamoille High School (Lamoille, VT, United States)
2005
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2005
To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click, otherwise
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Genre:
-
Comedy
Parts:
Male
-
Female
-
Parts Other:
25 either; Running time: 30-40 mins
Notes: -
Synopsis: Top student Mindy desperately wants to do well on a major exam, but her classmates are erupting into total chaos around her. The teacher, Mrs. Mock, doesn't believe her and insists that the classroom is absolutely quiet and orderly. Is Mindy losing her mind? Or is she being secretly subjected to another, top-secret kind of test? (This play can also be performed as part of the full-length collection Testing, Testing.)
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Homework Eats Dog and Other Woeful Tales
1st Produced:
Hartford, VT
2007
Company:
Hartford High School
1st Published:
Playscripts Inc, NY
2007
To Buy This Play:
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Genre:
short comedy
One Act
Parts:
Male
7
Female
7
Parts Other:
21 either
Notes: -
Synopsis: For science teacher Douglas Kobekeaneski, there's nothing greater than "The Hour of Desperation," that magical hour before his immensely important, grade-devastating assignment is due. Each year, his students frantically scramble to come up with their method of escape -- and this year is no exception, as they trot out a litany of outrageous excuses, including the greatest of them all: My homework ate my dog.
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Honor Bright
1st Produced:
-
-
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2005
To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click, otherwise
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Genre:
-
Play/Drama
Parts:
Male
2
Female
2
Parts Other:
2 females, 2 males, 12 either; Running time: 25-35 mins
Notes: -
Synopsis: If only Scott can do well enough on this final exam, his future will be set: He'll be able to graduate and join the service according to plan. When he realizes he won't be able to pass the test on his own, though, Scott begs his classmates to help him cheat, violating their teacher's trust and the honor code. After a startling revelation from his girlfriend, Scott must decide what matters most to him: his personal plans or his integrity. (This play can also be performed as part of the full-length collection Testing, Testing.)
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Idiot's Guide to High School, The
1st Produced:
-
-
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2005
To Buy This Play:
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Genre:
-
Comedy
Parts:
Male
1
Female
1
Parts Other:
1 female, 1 male, 20 either; Running time: 75-90 mins
Notes: -
Synopsis: Earl is an idiot. Everybody says so, including his own mother. Undeterred, Earl decides that this title uniquely qualifies him to host an informative guide to high school with the assistance of his friend Shirley (another well-known idiot). Earl and Shirley lead us through hilarious interactive chapters on everything from the true purpose of high school to crafting the perfect excuse, illustrating the topics with the help of fellow students. But with trouble brewing between Earl and Shirley, will they be able to make it to the end without the entire presentation (and Earl's definition of an idiot) falling apart?
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ALAN HAEHNEL
In a Strange Land
1st Produced:
Souhegan High School (Amherst, NH, United States)
2002
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2003
To Buy This Play:
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Genre:
-
Comedy
Parts:
Male
6
Female
6
Parts Other:
-
Notes: Running time: 30-65
Synopsis: All Tom wanted to do was take a short-cut through the auditorium so he could sign out for a dental appointment. Halfway across the bare stage, though, he finds himself smack-dab in the middle of a strange platoon fighting The Eighth Great War of the Singleterry Alliance. In the optional Act II, the tables are turned so that one of the soldiers becomes the stranger, suddenly adrift on a regular high school stage. This absurd battlefield comedy keeps the characters and the audience alike wondering what, indeed, is reality.
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Just Ask
1st Produced:
-
-
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2005
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If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click, otherwise
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Genre:
-
Comedy
Parts:
Male
3
Female
3
Parts Other:
3 females, 3 males, 14 either; Running time: 25-35 mins
Notes: -
Synopsis: When Morty and his friend Dwindle save magnate Captain McFee from a plane crash, they get the chance to achieve their dream -- becoming filthy rich. McFee offers to set them up in a fail-proof business -- selling the very air they breathe -- and the friends struggle with the ethics of profiting from a product nobody needs. Written in Seuss-esque rhymed couplets, this large-cast comedy satirizes the quest for wealth and power, and the sacrifice of integrity to make a morally suspect buck.
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Little Help, A
1st Produced:
All Saints Episcopal School (Fort Worth, TX, United States)
2004
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2005
To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click, otherwise
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Genre:
-
Comedy
Parts:
Male
2
Female
7
Parts Other:
7 females, 2 males, 21 either; Running time: 35-45 mins
Notes: -
Synopsis: Sam is a woman on the run. What started as an innocent search for self-improvement becomes a nightmare at the local Help Store, whose status-obsessed representatives insist on radical alterations to Sam's body image (both natural and surgical), her finances, and her romantic life. Will Sam be seduced by this impossible quest for perfection? Unfolding in Seuss-esque rhymed couplets, this large-cast comedy questions the modern assumption that something's got to be wrong with everyone.
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Loving Lives
1st Produced:
Fairfield Footlighters (Knollwood Court, OH, United States)
2002
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2003
To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click, otherwise
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Genre:
-
Comedy
Parts:
Male
6
Female
6
Parts Other:
-
Notes: Running time: 80-100
Synopsis: It's 1948, it's the dead of winter, and it's time for "Loving Lives," a radio soap opera on its last legs. A pompous romantic lead, an incapacitated announcer, an obnoxious kazoo-tooting child star, and multiple off-the-air seductions all contribute to the hilarious demise of the radio show.
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Meeting Sam
1st Produced:
-
-
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2005
To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click, otherwise
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Genre:
Comedy/Drama
Comedy
Parts:
Male
4
Female
5
Parts Other:
5 females, 4 males, 11 either; Running time: 40-45 mins
Notes: -
Synopsis: Medieval knights, a middle-aged cook, a Greek chorus, a General, a sleep-walking woman -- why is this motley crew of characters crowded together in a small city apartment? To wait for the one person they all have in common: Samantha, their creator. She's stopped writing and unless they can convince her to continue, they may remain unfinished fragments forever. Meeting Sam explores the depths of a writer's imagination and what might magically happen when writer's block sets in.
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Most Curious Phenomenon (one-act), A
1st Produced:
Hartford High School (Hartford, VT, United States)
2006
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2006
To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click, otherwise
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Genre:
-
Comedy
Parts:
Male
7
Female
14
Parts Other:
14 females, 7 males, 12 either; Running time: 45-55 mins
Notes: -
Synopsis: A scientific exploration is taking place into one of the greatest mysteries known to man (and woman) -- how could Sarah Hillsbury, one of the world's most educated teenagers, have become so stupid as to fall in love? Two scientists delve into this experim
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Nora's Lost
1st Produced:
Hartford High School (Hartford, VT, United States)
2005
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2005
To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click, otherwise
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Genre:
-
Play/Drama
Parts:
Male
6
Female
12
Parts Other:
12 females, 6 males, 7 either; Running time: 35-45 mins
Notes: -
Synopsis: Debilitated by Alzheimer's disease, Nora Blodget follows the vision of her late husband into the woods on a cold night. Nora's life flashes before her -- revealing her former life as a dynamic teacher, a caring wife, and a loving mother. Will Nora's daughter find her mother in time? This poignant large-cast one-act explores the nature of memory and familial love, fractured by the onset of dementia.
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Nuther Thing, A
1st Produced:
Jack Britt High School (Fayetteville, NC, United States)
2006
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2006
To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click, otherwise
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Genre:
-
Comedy
Parts:
Male
-
Female
-
Parts Other:
-
Notes: -
Synopsis: Nuther, an other; tomato, tomahto -- no matter how you say it, hilarity ensues when a young stand-up comedy troupe prepares to enlighten audiences on different subjects from their perspective. Who needs a superhero to save the world from aliens when there
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Perfect
1st Produced:
Windsor High School (Windsor, VT, United States)
2006
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2006
To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click, otherwise
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Genre:
-
Play/Drama
Parts:
Male
7
Female
17
Parts Other:
17 females, 7 males, 21 either; Running time: 25-35 mins
Notes: -
Synopsis: Mirror girl, mirror girl on the wall, who is the most perfect girl of all? At age four, Bethany believes that it is her. Yet as she grows up, the pressures of her life begins to turn her innocent confidence into self-doubt. By the time she's a teenager, B
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ALAN HAEHNEL
Property Rites
1st Produced:
Hartford High School (Hartford, VT, United States)
1999
Company:
-
1st Published:
Playscripts, Inc.
2001
To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click, otherwise
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Genre:
-
Play/Drama
Parts:
Male
4
Female
4
Parts Other:
13 either
Notes: Running time: 40-55
Synopsis: Kyle Macmanus has invested millions in a high-tech work of art -- fifteen human-figure sculptures programmed to perform thousands of movements, mo