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Alan Bissett

ALAN BISSETT

  (1975 - )
Nationality:    Scottish
email:    Click here to contact     Website:    Click here

Literary Agent:    A M Heath & Company  

Alan Bissett is from Falkirk and now lives in Glasgow. He is author of the novels Boyracers (Polygon, 2001), the Incredible Adam Spark (Headline, 2005), and the forthcoming Death of a Ladies' Man (Hachette 2009). He was short- or longlisted for the prestigious Macallan/Scotland on Sunday Short-Story Competition four years in a row. He is also a former lecturer in Creative Writing at the Universities of Leeds and Glasgow. Alan has recently adapted his novel Adam Spark as a stageplay, and has written a series of monologues, Times When I Bite, which he will be performing himself onstage in the new year and is also in production as a film. April 09 will feature a script for the arches New Director award-winner, Sacha Kyle, entitled the Library. He is also a regular performer at Discombobulate, a monthly literature/comedy night which runs at the CCa in Glasgow. Alan writes the occasional academic criticism, as well as an intermittent blog for the Guardian. In 2007 he featured alongside Malcolm Middleton (ex arab Strap) on the critically-acclaimed music-literature crossover album Ballads of the Book. He is highly in demand as a live performer - in schools, at book festivals, and, increasingly, as a support act for indie bands.

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below is a list of Alan Bissett's plays - click on a Play Title for more information

         Ban This Filth!         Ching Room, The         Confidant, The         Deficit Show, The         Demons         Do Not Press This Button         It Wisnae Me         Jacquoranda         Jean-Jacques Rousseau Show, The         Jock: Scotland on Trial         Library, The         Moira Monologues, The         One Thinks Of It All As A Dream         Pinocchio         Pure the Dead and the Brilliant, The         Red Hourglass, The         Times When I Bite         Turbo Folk         Welcome To the Hotel Caledonia         What The F**kirk
Ban This Filth!

Synopsis:
Bissett plays himself', telling stories from his own life, and Dworkin, one of the most controversial women in history, who has a few things to say to him. Expect laughter, Led Zeppelin, and a live reconditioning' of a man who's had it all too easy. . .Until now.

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If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

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Genre:
piece

Parts:
Male:  1            Female:  1            Other:  -

Further Reference:
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Ching Room, The

Synopsis:
When you've got to go, you've got to go. But not if you're Rory, and there's a mysterious stranger in the cubicle who seems to know too much about the secrets you've been hiding. Can Rory escape before the stranger tempts him into acting on them? an extended riff on Zen and the art of drug taking

Notes:
part of Oran Mor's groundbreaking lunchtime theatre programme, A Play, A Pie And A Pint

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If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

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Genre:
50 mins One act

Parts:
Male:  1            Female:  -            Other:  -

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Confidant, The

Synopsis:
Oran Mor's a Play, a Pie and a Pint spring season at edinburgh's Traverse theatre, presented in association with the National theatre of Scotland, will feature five plays from South America, adapted by Scottish playwrights.

Notes:
Original Playwright - Gilberto Pinto

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If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

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Genre:
short adaptation

Parts:
Male:  -            Female:  -            Other:  -

Further Reference:
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Deficit Show, The

Synopsis:
From the same team that brought you the Jean Jaques Rousseau Show and Demons comes a show that interrogates the deficit. What does it actually mean? How big is it, really? What can we do about it (apart from sell the NHS, obviously)? In this highly-charged political cabaret, Scotland's most formidable and upworthy collective come together to investigate the gaps in society; between rich and poor, between 'them and us' and between you and I.

Notes:
written by Davey Anderson, Dave Anderson, Alan Bissett, Catrin Evans, Keiran Hurley, Brian James, Kirstin McLean, David Maclennan, Gary Mcnair and A J Taudvin

1st Produced:

Organisations:
A Play, A Pie and a Pint. OTT

1st Published:
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Music:
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To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

Booksellers:

Genre:
short play

Parts:
Male:  3            Female:  2            Other:  -

Further Reference:

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Demons

Synopsis:
To celebrate Oran Mor's 250th play a group of Scottish writers collaborated to produce the Jean-Jacques Rousseau Show. Those writers were Dave Anderson, Davey Anderson, Alan Bissett, Catrin evans, Mike Gonzalez, Sean Hardie, Kieran Hurley, David MacLennan, Gary McNair, Amanda Monfrooe and Julia Taudevin. Joined Now By David Greig and Lewis Hetherington, they have got together again to write this companion piece - Demons. A modern day variety show of songs, scenes, comedy, tragedy and polemic.

Notes:
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1st Produced:

Organisations:
a Play, a Pint and a Pie

1st Published:
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Music:
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To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

Booksellers:

Genre:
short play

Parts:
Male:  -            Female:  -            Other:  -

Further Reference:
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Do Not Press This Button

Do Not Press This Button
Three passengers on a train strike up a conversation

Notes:
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1st Produced:
Oran Mor, Glasgow     Nov 2019

Organisations:
a Play, a Pint and a Pie

1st Published:
Salamander Street Ltd. (27 Aug. 2020)   

Music:
-

To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

Booksellers:

Genre:
Short play

Parts:
Male:  2            Female:  1            Other:  -

Further Reference:
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It Wisnae Me

Synopsis:
A police interview room.  A table.   Jock has been huckled for a crime he says he didn't commit: imperialism.  He has been spotted at the scene, but is it what it looks like?  Or is Jock, despite what he claims, a racist himself?  It Wisnae Me is a political satire posing the question: of Scotland's complicity in colonisation.

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To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

Booksellers:

Genre:
60 min

Parts:
Male:  2            Female:  1            Other:  -

Further Reference:
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Jacquoranda

Synopsis:
Jacqueline (pure name 'Jacquoranda') has seen the light. She's conquered her demons, achieved inner peace and met the man of her dreams. Or has she? Grab a drink and pull up a chair for a group therapy session with a difference! Put yourself in Jacquoranda's hands in this highly interactive and entertaining play by Alan Bissett, and let her guide you through a voyage of self-discovery. Or something like that. Just make sure you keep an eye on your drink at all times! As Jacquoranda teeters on the edge of the wagon, she slowly reveals the truth behind her newly enlightened status and the audience, in turn, achieve a breakthrough of their own. Just not the one you're expecting. . .

Notes:
part of "Cross-Country Stories"

1st Produced:
Tron Bar - Glasgow     14 Jun 2014

Organisations:
Horsecross Arts

1st Published:
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Music:
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To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

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Genre:
one act

Parts:
Male:  -            Female:  1            Other:  -

Further Reference:

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Jean-Jacques Rousseau Show, The

Synopsis:
To celebrate the 250th play commissioned and produced by A Play A Pie and A Pint at Oran Mor we look back to 1762 and the publication of Jean Jaques Rousseau's the Social Contract. You may be asked to sign a document while sipping your drink and nibbling your pie before the show goes up. . .

Notes:
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1st Produced:

Organisations:
a Play, a Pint and a Pie

1st Published:
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Music:
-

To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

Booksellers:

Genre:
short play

Parts:
Male:  -            Female:  -            Other:  -

Further Reference:
-

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Jock: Scotland on Trial

Synopsis:
A police interview room. Jock has been hauled in for a crime he says he didn't commit: theft from other countries. He has been spotted at the scene but was he manipulated by his bosses? Was he there out of need? Or is Jock, as he claims, the victim of imperialism himself? From one of the leading voices in the cultural movement for Scottish independence, Jock is a provocative and timely piece of theatre. Performed so far only as a work-in-progress, this is the first ever full production of Jock and the first time it has been seen by English audiences.

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To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

Booksellers:

Genre:
40 min performance

Parts:
Male:  -            Female:  -            Other:  -

Further Reference:
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Library, The

Synopsis:
Containing our desires to be more than what we are. Filing away that which has already taken place. Holding on to instruction to prevent us from losing ourselves. the mind is a library. Working with a cast of nine, Sacha Kyle, invites you to a darkly humorous, multi-sensory experience which explores the stories that exist within all of us.

Notes:
by Sacha Kyle. Text for the Library has been created in collaboration with Scottish writer Alan Bissett

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To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

Booksellers:

Genre:
Piece

Parts:
Male:  -            Female:  -            Other:  cast of 9

Further Reference:

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Moira Monologues, The

Synopsis:
Bisset himself plays a chain-smoking Falkirk cleaning woman confessing all to her best pal Babs.
Neil Cooper, Herald.

Notes:
by Sacha Kyle And Alan Bissett

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To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

Booksellers:

Genre:
Piece

Parts:
Male:  1            Female:  -            Other:  -

Further Reference:

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One Thinks Of It All As A Dream

Synopsis:
'I'm simply asking, Mr Waters, how do you know it's Syd who has the problem?' London, 1967. Pink Floyd have just released their debut album, the psychedelic masterpiece Piper at the Gates of Dawn. But the behaviour of their frontman, Syd Barrett, has become increasingly erratic. Is he having a drug-induced breakdown? Or is he playing an elaborate joke on the band and the music industry? Syd Barrett would've been seventy this year, had he not died in 2006. This witty and poignant new play - specially commissioned for the Scottish Mental Health Arts and Film Festival - is both a vivid portrait of a revolutionary period in pop music and a character study of one of its most enigmatic and complex figures.

Notes:
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1st Produced:
Glasgow, Oran Mor     17 Oct 2016

Organisations:
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1st Published:
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To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

Booksellers:

Genre:
short play

Parts:
Male:  -            Female:  -            Other:  -

Further Reference:
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Pinocchio

Synopsis:
a new version of the classic fairytale, adapted by Alan Bissett and Julie Brown and featuring music, song, dance and puppetr

Notes:
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1st Produced:

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To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

Booksellers:

Genre:
adaptation

Parts:
Male:  3            Female:  2            Other:  -

Further Reference:
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Pure the Dead and the Brilliant, The

Synopsis:
What would happen if the bogles, banshees, demons and selkies of Scots folklore were involved in the independence referendum?

Notes:
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1st Produced:
Assembly Rooms, Edinburgh Festival Fringe     31 Jul 2014

Organisations:
Kyle Bissett Productions

1st Published:
-   

Music:
-

To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

Booksellers:

Genre:
short play

Parts:
Male:  -            Female:  -            Other:  -

Further Reference:
-

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Red Hourglass, The

Synopsis:
In the Red Hourglass Bissett plays five parts - three male, two female, none of them human, locked up together in a mysterious facility. This is a dazzling, witty and erotic tour de force from one of Scotland's most versatile talents. Website - www.alanbissett.com. www.sachakyle.com.

Notes:
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1st Produced:
National Library Of Scotland, Edinburgh Festival Fringe     15 Aug 2012

Organisations:
alan Bissett and Sacha Kyle

1st Published:
-   

Music:
-

To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

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Genre:
comedy, Drama 60 min

Parts:
Male:  1            Female:  -            Other:  -

Further Reference:

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Times When I Bite

Synopsis:
Alan Bissett performs his own one-woman show, a series of stories from Falkirk's hardest woman, Moira Bell. Whether defending her snookelums pookelums' from the local rottweiler, attempting to seduce a teacher in the school where she works as a cleaner, or belting out Diana Ross for the Scotia karaoke night, Moira is hilarious and heart-warming company.

Notes:
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1st Produced:
Glenclub, Hallglen, Falkirk     2009

Organisations:
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1st Published:
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Music:
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To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

Booksellers:

Genre:
Monologue play

Parts:
Male:  -            Female:  1            Other:  -

Further Reference:
-

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Turbo Folk

Synopsis:
Cameron, a Scottish rock star is touring an unnamed country in the developing world. Bored one night, he escapes his corporate hotel into the local bar, in an attempt to find the 'soul of the country' and, hopefully, a sound for the next album. With him is a translator, Moka, supplied by the record company, wearying of Cameron's endless need for stimulation. Cameron discovers in the bar not only the exciting, native 'turbo Folk' music - which he wants to record - but a threatening, taciturn local, Gradd. attempting jollity, Cameron compliments Gradd on his shirt, only for Gradd to interpret it as flirtation. Moka translates the misunderstanding, and, in order to avoid danger, Cameron buys Gradd a drink. But now he is trapped, helplessly dependent upon Moka to translate with charm enough to save him from this bruiser. Over the next half hour, Gradd unloads his hatred of the West onto an increasingly terrified Cameron, who realises that, though the war in this country may be over, many still nurture dark grievances, waiting for the right time to exploit them. Soon it is Moka's role as 'neutral' translator that is compromised, as Gradd begins to exert a slow pull over his countryman that could have terrible consequences for Cameron. "Turbo Folk" is a tight, three-hander, about cultural misunderstandings, the legacy of war, and, most importantly, language. Power bounces, in flux, between Cameron and Gradd, before Moka realises that - as go-between - he alone can direct the outcome. What characters say is not what the audience reads, in translation, onscreen behind them, a gap of misapprehension which could prove fatal for our flamboyant, and hopelessly out-of-his-depth, hero.

Notes:
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1st Produced:

Organisations:
a Play a Pie and a Pint

1st Published:
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Music:
-

To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

Booksellers:

Genre:
dark political comedy

Parts:
Male:  -            Female:  -            Other:  -

Further Reference:
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Welcome To the Hotel Caledonia

Synopsis:
It's election night in the Hotel Caledonia, not that anybody cares. there are two weddings on and one's descending into a fistfight. the bar's littered with exhausted politicians who can't bring themselves to watch the count, the groom's trying to decide which bridesmaid to chat up on the principle of the single transferable vote, and Mr and Mrs Scotland's attempt at a dirty weekend is descending into divorce. at the centre of it all, Svetlana - the Lithuanian receptionist - is trying to decide whether she should stay or go. Can Gavin - the assistant manager with a crush on her the size of a small Baltic Republic - persuade her that Scotlands got a future? Welcome to the Hotel Caledonia will be written in the two days prior to May 5th to capture the immediacy and excitement of the election and the unfolding events of the week. It will be performed script in hand on the day of the election itself. Some of Scotland's most exciting writers will conjure up a cast of dreamers, ranters, visionaries and street preachers all trying to make sense of a country which just can't seem to make up its mind what it wants. expect comedy, satire and probably a fair degree of bitterness and rage.

Notes:
written by Peter Arnott, Alan Bissett, David Greig, David Ireland, Rona Munro, Morna Pearson, Alan Wilkins

1st Produced:

Organisations:
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1st Published:
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Music:
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To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

Booksellers:

Genre:
election specia

Parts:
Male:  2            Female:  1            Other:  -

Further Reference:

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What The F**kirk

Synopsis:
It's a light-hearted look at the story of the Falkirk area, and coincides with the release of Alight Here: An Anthology of Falkirk Writing'; 20 pieces of new writing and poetry by authors living and working in Falkirk, including Janet Paisely and Aidan Moffat.

Notes:
music by Adam Stafford

1st Produced:
Slamannan Community Centre     03 Jun 2015

Organisations:
Kyle Bissett Productions

1st Published:
-   

Music:
-

To Buy This Play:
If Publisher (above) is underlined then the play may be purchased by direct click from the Publisher, otherwise (below) are AbeBooks for secondhand, signed & 1st eds and other Booksellers for new copies

Booksellers:

Genre:
comedy

Parts:
Male:  1            Female:  -            Other:  -

Further Reference:
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